I'm not Korean...(not that there's anything wrong with that)

Something beginning with D and ending in RHEA

In chronological order, I present to you my life for the past 4 days:

1. Saturday morning. My dad arrived from KL bearing durian cakes, traditional biscuits, Darlie toothpaste, a thick Malaysian accent and an extra 10kgs around his waist. I immediately told him he needed to lost weight because its unhealthy but also because it makes him look older and I cannot bear the thought of my dad ageing even though it is a natural fact of life.

While dad spent some time with his brother on Saturday, I spent some time with twenty kids at Waratah Park. I was on GF duties at Spidey's niece and nephew's joint birthday bonanza and I was in fact looking forward to this. Not the part about the kids, but because Waratah Park, in case you did not know, was the location where they filmed the iconic (read: naff) television series of Skippy. Incidentally, its website also boasts that it remains today as a home and sanctuary for many of the areas native inhabitants, ergo, I was expecting to see a whole lotta wildlife out there but in truth there's a whole lotta nuttin. Unless you count a bunch of wallabies and a lone koala "wildlife". Suffice to say, it did not the slightest bit phase me. I was in my element. I patted a wallaby and cooked snags. Bindi would've been proud.

Then.

Warren.

Only Lionel Shriver fans can relate. If you thought "Kevin" was the embodiment of Beelzebub, I present to you Wazza, a 10 year old mini Bee.

I know I'm missing a maternal chromosome or something, but I promise you I'm not embellishing. This kid enraged me so much Spidey was a phone call away from calling the cops. On me. Meanwhile, I was a phone call away from calling backup. This kid needed to be hauled over the coals and I was right and ready to deliver a smackdown. What's the fuss you ask? Let me tell you what's the fuss! This kid made fun of a kangaroo's BALLS. According to Wazza, it's balls were so whopping big that the only way he was capable of illustrating this to the rest of the party was to gather 6 other boys, make them join hands and form a circle, then shout at the top of his big fat trap that this was how big its balls were!!

Mind you, this is only one example. I know he's "just a kid" but seriously, by the end of it I didn't know who to murder - him or his parents, or both.

Also, I was at a birthday party with kids who's FIRST names were Madison, Saxon, Cale and Mackenzie. Am I missing something here? Although I better stamp a disclaimer here and say that Mad and Sax are Spidey's neice and nephew and they are gorgeous.

3. Sunday. I woke up with the most excruciating pain around my abdomen. I had it for one whole day and was in total agony but still managed to spend the day with dad visiting relos and going to the beach with my beloved mut.

4. Monday. Took the day off sick as pain in abdomen turned into 'rhea and riding the crimson wave. Yeah, you can't find a better combo at Hungry Jacks I assure you.

5. Tuesday. Work. Still riding the waves, less rough though. Forecast for the next 4 days looking good.

posted by Lokes @ 10:18 AM