Bicuriosity kills the cat
I happen to really enjoy the company of my friend Laura, who couldn't be more white if she fell into a bucket of Tipp-Ex.She's 21 and certainly no whigga but she'll bust a cap in your ass if you so much as step on her mojo.
Laura owes her big beautiful blue eyes to her mother Mrjinana, Marijuana, Mrjiuana or something Crotian/Serbian/Yugoslav sounding. Those eyes can mesmerize you or they can shoot a twelve-bore glare. At the best of times, she is also a redhead depending on how many washes she's had since the last Loreal application. Make no mistake though, she does not require an oxidizing agent to be fiery.
Laura and I have the best times together. And the best conversations. I attribute this to the fact that we both possess a ferocious appetite for tomfoolery. When we are in our element, we are card-carrying biatches who have no qualms about voicing our disdain with the general public pool of idiots that may just happen to brush us up the wrong way in Priceline. The rest of the time, we are making each other snort with laughter; a product of our warped and perverted sense of humour.
Laura loves shoes. She loves shoes the way mosquitoes love pondscum. Sometimes, I try to bring her shoe habit to heel (pun intended!) but mostly I egg on the purchases because they're usually so hot they beggar belief. Meanwhile I walk around in haviannas and weather-beaten mules because I only know how to do lazy and comfortable.
Sometimes I think we have been separated at birth, for we know each other so well. Other times I want to pelt her with a bag of stones. A typical Arien; she can be as stubborn as a mud fence and as subtle as a double hernia.
Mostly though, I find her incredible. If she played her cards right, I'd give her one.
Sod that. I'd give her one anyway.
posted by Lokes @ 11:32 AM
3 Comments:
Ok so you did warn me about this ode to all things moi shaped but I genuinely (foolishly?) believed your intention was to revere as opposed to ravish me.
How many times must I tell you that one nipple related incident at a work Christmas function does not make me a card carrying, latte drinking lesbian!
Now that's cleared up, I can sincerely say that what you wrote was awfully sweet and made me sound far more exciting than I am and THAT is why I love you and will let you try to hold my hand in Pitt St Mall for years to come.
XX
That's a cheap and sordid way to bump up the hit counts, you wannabe lesbo.
What can I say, I've turned into a blogging wh0re!
Post a Comment
<< Home