To borrow an expression from Rove.....WHAT THE!!?
I was always taught to treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen, but crikey, this has gone beyond the sphere of normality for me.Dear Bradley,
I'm taken aback by your bold and public displays of affection but feel the burning need to address by way of bullet point, some areas of concern arising out of your most recent correspondence:
- You and I do not know each other. The chances of us ever meeting are about as remote as me winning the next Fields Medal for excellence in algebraic combinatorics and analytical number theory. Therefore, I suggest you dismiss any wistful delusions of a fairytale ending as I have already found my Prince Charming. I will however again encourage you to divert your attention to Lau Lau, or even perhaps Teeko the dingo. Trust me, he is lovely and will not maim you.
- Um, as for all the Irwin-related posts. I. WAS. BEING. SARCASTIC. This is an art form. Quickly enrol in a class.
- I do not know anyone famous. I never have and I never will. This is just one of those unfortunate things in my life, like never having won a door prize from a raffle ticket draw, or scratching enough arrows to win $250,000 on the Lord of The Rings scratchie. On that note, it is safe to assume that because you and I will never meet, you will never win more than a dollar in your life.
- Although I appreciate your offer, I don't think I could handle seeing your photo (even though Spidey has kindly requested same). This could cause me to have severe heart palpitations and result in me effectively selling my house, quitting my job and having your babies. THIS. IS. A. JOKE.
Once again I thank you for your patronage to I'm Not Korean.
yours sui'tly,
Lokes
posted by Lokes @ 4:22 PM
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