Truly Asia - Part 2
After 3 nights in Bangkok, we left for Phuket. When I initially planned this trip, I thought it'd be more economical for us to spend the first four nights in a 4 star so-so hotel. So....after some research I ended up booking the Merlin Beach Hotel. I don't know how to describe my reaction when we first arrived at the MBH. I knew NOT to expect the high standards that had already been set up by our stay in Bangers BUT at the same time I did not expect to walk into an Ibiza-style resort favoured by the world's most ugliest tattoed skinheads. But not only that. These ugly tattoed skinheads also had kids. Nuff said. (Actually the place wasn't that bad and it would have been great by normal standards, it's just that you can't help feeling pissed off after a 6 star experience.)
The only good thing about our room was that it had a pool access from the balcony.
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Fortunately, we spent a lot of time out of the hotel. We hired a bike and rode along the coast of Phuket exploring all the beaches, markets and topless rippled-stomach men.
Patong was like Patpong on steroids. I loved it. We drank lots of beer on the strip. I stood on a corner and tried to pick up men but it seemed I wasn't dark enough and my red eye was kinda freaking the tourists off.
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Well said and of course blogworthy.
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I love elephants, so aside from kipnapping and smuggling one back to Sydney I decided the next best thing was to sit on one. And get proposed to. Well, that was what was supposed to happen after this kiss but the elephant stopped to do a shit and the ring was accidentally dropped into it. That kinda ruined the moment.
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We spent the last four nights in Phuket at the Le Meridien. It was a huge sigh of relief to find it was remarkably better than the Merlin Beach Hotel. We loved it and never left the hotel for those 4 days. It helped that they had a myriad of activities, big beautiful pools and its own beautiful private beach.
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Another boring hotel pic.
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It's pretty obvious this is the private beach I was referring to. The water was warm, clear and green. I have a feeling a lot of couples make love in it. I have this feeling because I think I saw it happen.
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The beach bbq by the beach was pretty special. Check out the $400 Chanels.
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Phi Phi Island tours are sooooo over-rated but it had to be done. The jet boat trip out was horrendous, not because I was sea sick but because we were grouped with an Israeli family of five, two of whom (father and son) I wanted to slay with my flippers. Why? Because the son didn't know courtesy from a limestone rock and the father wouldn't have known respect if Aretha Franklin shouted at him in song.
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Other than that the water was pretty noice.
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Cooling off.
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We are really happy.
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Complimenary boob/fat shot (depending on which angle you take)
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--This may look like a normal shot to you but it is actually my sole attempt at creative photography.
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Every morning at the Le Meridien a baby elephant would come to visit. This is me giving it a banana that I stole from the breakfast buffet.
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It is only appropriate that I should end off with the iconic Petronas Twin Towers. Call me a recalcitrant but even though I love Australia, Malaysia will always be my heart.
posted by Lokes @ 8:08 PM
6 Comments:
LOVED the post. OMGOSH YOU DID NOT TELL ME ABOUT THE ELEPHANTS!
I am SO INCREDIBLY JEALOUS.
Yes the beaches were nice, the hotels divine, the food wonderful etc etc etc but feeding a baby elephant a banana in your hotel??? I am greener than a toe in a snow storm on the top of Mt Everest.
Ok Ok, so I just copy and pasted my email to you instead of dreaming up a fresh comment. But seriously Lokes, you should know better than to force me into making yet another exclamation of wonder at your linguistic prowess and photographic ability, at midday on a Monday...
In any event, now you cannot steal my hilarious gangrene reference, or feign shock at my elephant love. I am still recovering from the prospect of seeing one up close let alone feeding one with stolen bananas.
By the by, in London I hand fed a squirrel!!
Yeah. It doesn't quite measure up.
You know I'm extremely high maintenance Lau Lau.
I LOVE those beach pictures, how fabulous does the water look?! Not as fabulous as you in those white bikini b00b shots of course. Woo! Hot stuff Miss Biatch.
Spidey has a lovely wife-basher tighty-whitey bonds tan line going on there..
nice.
He also has hairy nips but let's not go there.
Not only was the water fantastic but the sand was fine, clean and white and if there hadn't been anyone around I would have given myself a nice body scrub sans the bikini.
And yes, you needed to know that.
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