The men in my life - Part 1
After what felt like 6 months of fluid retention, I am now back dancing the cha-cha.
Today is Spidey's birthday. For all my American fans out there, Happy Halloween!!!
I was gonna turn some tricks to fund some treats for Spidey but I've realised that it will take several months of ass pimping to afford that voyage to Monte Carlo. That's Grand Prix for all you mofos out there.
Instead, I settled for 3 gifts; one practical, one sentimental, one experience. (Don't ask, they're pretty lame and very "been there, done that" but he thought it was pretty spesh and I might just get some lovin' for it so FCUK OFF)
Okay, so it was a sandwich press (maxi cafe style thankyouverymuch), a photo of Spidey and I done up on canvas, and a climb up the friggin bridge where I intend to ask him for his hand in marriage.
Which suddenly reminds me of a scene in Paint Your Wagon (circa 1963 starring Lee Marvin and Clint Eastwood)
"Yankee doodle did a dandee riding on a pony
Went to town and bought a wife and called it matrimony"
I did say this was random spouting.
Riding the roughest wave
Right this moment I am so bloody fcuking shitty I could choke the next passerby to death.
By this I mean I have THE MOST intense period pains I could choke the next passerby to death.
Although I am, or what appears to be, sitting at my desk, I am actually so hunched forward that my head is nearly touching the keyboard. wjierocfeo;wjfofjocjoerasiuroserwp. Oops, you see there? That's my head touching the keyboard.
I am miserable and snappy and on the brink of a major episode of psychosis.
Eva - Take 482
Scraps of Info
I had a "low" day yesterday despite selling a bird cage on Ebay for $237.50. Sadly, happiness is not getting 34 people to outbid each other for a huge muthafunken aviary.
I think I even took it out on Spidey. The first thing he said was not "What's wrong baby? Are you okay? Do you want a sweedish massage?".
But.
"Are your boobs hurting?" (implying "Do I need to organise a weekend away cause you're PMSing?")
Strangely, this is a fair call. My boobs aren't hurting yet but they will start to soon.
Today however, I'm on the up. It's Thursday and one day left before the weekend. I'm going out tonight with the girls for dinner at my favourite Japanese hole-in-the-wall haven. I already know this will be the pinnacle of my week - a night out biatching and cussing, eating and drinking.
Meanwhile, I have found another new reality show to love: America's Next Top Model.
Sunday Night Fever
As we all know, I'm quite partial to reality TV shows (except I hate Big Brother, The Biggest Loser, Survivor, and that stupid show where they show Australian Customs giving shit to Asians who bring in dried shrooms and pickled sea bass).
BUT, I do love Aussie Idol. Or did.
Sunday night's DISCO theme produced the following mixed bag of observations/reactions:
1. I hate disco music. I was born to bump 'n grind, not boogie.
2. I fancy a pair of technicoloured flares.
3. Bobby Flynn is.....starting to grow on me. From the start, it was actually my mission to despise the ogre but somehow Bobbers has managed to pull off some pretty neat performances two weeks in a row IN SPITE of the fact that he closely resembles our distant primate cousins! And did he sing "Superfreak" cause he was trying to take the mick out of himself?!!
4. I actually screamed and drooled like a 16 year old school girl when Dean Geyer performed amazing acrobatics on stage. Spidey rolled his eyes but I knew he was thinking about how he could woo me again with his disjointed breakdancing routine.
5. I can't believe Lavina got voted out....instead of "I've had too many cheeseburgers" Chris!! And what's with the public and keeping in time-wasters like Lisa Mitchell?! The girl thinks she's the next Missy Higgins....and uh, where is Missy now?!?! Anyway, ya'll know I was rooting for the token islander with the hardcore street cred but now that she's gone there's no point continuing.
I'm totally off Idol now.
When does Temptation Island start up again?
A day at Chinamen's....
